In recent weeks, there has been an increasing number of negative comments on my Tumblr dashboard, my Twitter and Facebook feeds, and in the various opinion blogs I follow about Kim Kardashian and Kanye West’s wedding choices, especially when it came to light that they are standing to make a lot of money off their wedding.
Weddings are magical events. From the simplest living room to the most lavish castle on the coast of the Mediterranean Sea, I believe that whatever their personal preference may be, family and friends should help the bride and the groom create the environment they need to recite their vows with their entire heart and soul.
It sounds easy, but it isn’t. After all, everyone gets caught in the emotions that imbibe weddings. This is why brides and grooms should deeply appreciate when their family and friends pull off a drama-free wedding. This usually happens when everyone is united is making the bride and groom’s vision of their wedding a reality. If drama ensues, the bride and groom, their family, and their drama-free friends should remember that no one is perfect, which of course helps contain the drama. This is one of the biggest wedding gifts we can give each other.
In this light, the “good wedding” we wish for those we love is one in which the bride and groom are able to say their vows in an environment they deem perfect; this is in turn dependent on the personal characteristics of the bride, the groom, and their relationship. This implies that a large number of very different looking weddings fall under the umbrella of “good”.
The farther from our reality wedding choices are, the more uneasy we can become. And such discomfort seems to make it easier for a judgmental attitude to emerge, sometimes even to our own surprise. In the context of emotion-laden weddings, judgmental attitudes cause even more harm than usual.
In light of the steady increase in multiculturalism in North America, frank and honest consultations about the way we want our communities to run are all the more importation. One of the biggest barriers to such frank and honest consultations are judgmental attitudes.
It’s not just in the context of weddings held in our own communities that we need to carefully extract judgmental attitudes. The internet and the emergence of social media expose us to even more multiculturalism. While it might seem harmless to judge someone you don’t know, doing so fertilized the ground of your mind in which the seeds of judgement can more easily grow.
And this is why the increase in negative comments about Kim and Kanye’s wedding bothers me. First is the fact that what we read on the Internet about them is gossip; we do not know exactly what is going on, nor do we know the entire picture. Furthermore, whatever they do (as long as it is not encroaching on the rights of others), it’s their wedding; we should accept it as such a move on. And finally, being negative about anyone’s wedding is the first step towards creating and sustaining a culture in which we can be negative about everyone’s wedding, and that would be a sad world, indeed.