Funny

Top 30 things to do when bored at Wal-Mart

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I got this email a couple of times already and I am sure that some of you have, too, but it’s just such a good list that I had to put it up. I didn’t copy the whole thing; I just put my top 30 from a list of 74. I couldn’t whitle down any more than this!

So here would be my top choices of what to do at Wal-Mart if I’m bored:

  1. As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, “Wow, magic!”
  2. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift-wrap.
  3. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission Impossible.
  4. Go to the food court, buy a drink, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
  5. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, “I’m Batman. Come Robin, to the Batcave.”
  6. Follow people through the aisles, staying about 5 feet behind them. Do this until they leave the store.
  7. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while and then yell loudly “There’s no toilet paper in here!”
  8. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say “PICK ME! PICK ME!”
  9. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
  10. Leave Cheerios in lawn and garden, pillows in the pet section, etc.
  11. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
  12. Make up nonsense products and ask employees if there are any in stock. (i.e.: Shnerples)
  13. Move “Caution: Wet Floor” signs to carpeted areas.
  14. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
  15. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you are taking it for a test drive.
  16. Say things like, “Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies.”
  17. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten-minute intervals throughout the day.
  18. Set up a “Valet Parking” sign in front of the store.
  19. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you’ll invite them in if they bring pillows from the bed department.
  20. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
  21. Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full-scale battle with G.I. Joe vs. X-men.
  22. Test the brushes and combs in cosmetics.
  23. Tune all the radios to polka stations; then turn them off and turn the volume up to full blast.
  24. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, ‘Code 3’ in Housewares and see what happens.
  25. Walk up to complete strangers and say, “Hi. I haven’t seen you in so long.” etc. See if they play along.
  26. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, “Why can’t you people just leave me alone?”
  27. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream “NO! NO! It’s those voices again!!!”
  28. When someone steps away from his or her cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
  29. When there are people behind you, walk really slowly, especially in thin aisles.
  30. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, “Who buys this crap anyway?!”
5.00 avg. rating (99% score) - 1 vote

6 thoughts on “Top 30 things to do when bored at Wal-Mart

  1. Haha, oh my gosh.
    I’ve done a majority of the things on there, Sahar.
    It’s fun, you should try it.

    ps; I heart your blog.

  2. You actually did them? I think I might be a little worried now 😉 And I will never admit to having done any of them, so don’t ask.

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