About the author
What do you get when you mix a strict Catholic upbringing, a strong curiosity for the opposite sex, and the need to grow up quickly? If you’re lucky you get an outcome like Jessica Bunevacz, the vivacious and outspoken first time author behind Date Like a Girl, Marry Like a Woman: The Polished Woman’s Guide to Love, Romance, and Sex.
Born Jessica Rodriguez in the Philippines and raised by her grandparents after the separation of her mother and father, Bunevacz was thrust into the role of provider after the murder of her mother when she was fifteen. With four siblings relying on her she began work early, first as a live mannequin and later as a model, actress, talent manager and television host. The jobs not only helped her to support her siblings, but also her first two children. One of her proudest moments while working in entertainment was as the force behind a project called “Miss Ugly No More” where women were showed how they could feel and look their best. Juggling family and work Bunevacz was not content to simply sit on the sidelines while life passed her by, and dating became her favorite contact sport.
Traveling frequently for work and fascinated by men it wasn’t long before she developed a set of rules to snag them, and guidelines for how she could remain at her best without being bested by the games others were playing. It wasn’t long before she became a self-proclaimed MANnizer, capable of capturing and holding the attention of whoever interested her, while also continuing to do what was in her best interest as both a mother and entrepreneur with both family and a business to protect.
A romantic at heart however she soon stopped her pursuit of “Mr. Right Now” when she met the man who was “Mr. Right”, the man who became her husband. Newly married, she found herself rethinking everything she knew and realized that the same qualities that made a woman an amazing girlfriend didn’t necessarily work for a wife. Rather than wait for someone else to write a marriage manual, she retooled her dating rules for herself to apply for a life after marriage. Jessica Bunevacz is now a happily married wife and mother of three currently residing in California.
While her life has been unconventional she has no regrets, and lives with the understanding that we all have the same basic desire: to feel loved, whether it’s just for one night or for an entire lifetime. Using her own life experiences as a basis she develop real-world relationship advice to help women feel more confident and comfortable whether they’re dating or have already said “I do”.
About the book
Date Like a Girl, Marry Like a Woman: The Polished Woman’s Guide to Love, Romance, and Sex will help you navigate how to have a good time with “Mr. Right Now” and how to hold onto “Mr. Right” once you find him. Providing a mix easy to follow rules, and anecdotes showcasing how they worked (and in some cases what happened when they were ignored), Jessica Bunevacz is the best friend you’ll wish you had all along and the one whose advice you’ll go back to again and again.
Unlike “The Rules”, its successors, or similar books offering guidance on how to snag a man, this book isn’t about playing hard to get, instead it’s about playing to win. And the only way that you can truly to that is when you acknowledge yourself as the MVP. This is why one of the first rules in Date Like a Girl, Marry Like a Woman: The Polished Woman’s Guide to Love, Romance, and Sex is about shedding your insecurities, and why other rules offer insight on looking, feeling, and being your best, with an emphasis on having your own life. Additionally, while other guides stop when you get to a marriage proposal, this is the book you’ll come back to after you say “I do”. Understanding that happily ever after may be a good way to end a movie, but isn’t a good way to start a marriage there are real tips about everything from friendship to sex to finances with both humor and heart.
Ultimately Date Like a Girl, Marry Like a Woman: The Polished Woman’s Guide to Love, Romance, and Sex is a work that is meant to transcend beyond the pages as it’s lessons are applied in daily life. It never asks a woman to shy away from her impulses or to hide who she is or what she wants, and instead celebrates her independence and sensuality while showing her ways that she can make her romantic life more fulfilling.
The rules that currently defines the dating world create relationships which are, in my mind, built on the wrong foundations and conducive to weak marriages. I picked up Jessica R Bunevacz’ book thinking that is was the result of brilliant thinking: the title, to me, said that the author was encouraging a different type of dating, one that balanced out the fun a girl likes to have with the maturity that I woman should have, which would lead to the emergence of a long-term, mature, and healthy relationship between two committed people.
If your understanding of marriage is that you win at the dating game; that you can first having a lot of fun by dating around and snagging any man you find interesting; that you need to always keep an eye on your husband to make sure nothing goes wrong; that you have to first shed your insecurities to be able to get into a healthy relationship in the first place; and other such notions—then you should definitely pick up this book. The book’s tone is engaging, the author’s outlook bright, her language optimistic, and the topics flow well for an easy, uninterrupted reading. You will definitely enjoy this book as much as you would enjoy having an older sister whom you look up to giving you a whole lot of advice you can put to excellent use.
But this book didn’t do it for me. Although it claims to be different from other “rule books” about dating and finding a spouse, it clearly falls into a lot of the same traps the authors of those books have. Being told that, as a wife, I have to feed my husband’s ego; I should never say no to sex when my husband requests it; that I have to be the kind of wife that knows how to cook; that I have to know how to keep my husband interested in my body—and many others included in the book—well this is not at all my definition of marriage. My understanding of marriage is one of teamwork; one that it beyond the physicality; one in which the emotional, mental, and spiritual is so fantastic that, as a natural consequence, so it the physical aspect of it; one in which my husband and I help each other get conquer our egos; in other words, a definition of marriage that is completely different from the one the author lays the foundation for in the dating section of her book.
Add to Reading List?
Depending on your definition of marriage and what kind of dating that definition entails.